A Mai HiME Fiction Loose Threads
by ArcaJeth
Summary: A year later Mikoto remains unfulfilled. The alternate ending is now available
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Mai-HiME and all associated characters are property of Sunrise Inc. This story now has a title.

**Loose Threads**

Mikoto wandered the empty streets her footsteps echoing off the buildings of the darkened Fuuka Gakuen campus. Harsh security lamps ignited and extinguished with her passing, searing her already-blurred vision. Try as she might, the tears would not stop. Try as she might, the pain would not cease.

Her uniform was rumpled and torn from her passage through the woods; the new high school uniform she'd been so proud to wear only a few hours ago. The stitches in the hem had unraveled. Stitches Mai had dutifully done for her.

Mai.

Mikoto's pace quickened, her footfalls sounding like gunshots on the cobbled streets.

Mai.

Mai who was always smiling. Mai who cooked for her. Mai who scolded her when she was lax in her schoolwork. Mai whom Mikoto...

The feral girl redoubled her pace, reverting to all-fours and careening around sharp turns, heedless of the danger.

Run!

The primal command pounded into her brain, infused her muscles with adrenaline and Mikoto obeyed. She would run until her lungs burst. She would run until her legs gave out from fatigue. She would run until the pain stopped. She would run until the screaming in her heart was silenced.

A sudden slip, a loose cobblestone jutting from the street sent the small girl tumbling. Skinned knees joined the laundry list of bruises and scratches she received from the night's journey.

No matter. Physical pain she could endure. It was only temporary pain after all.

Mikoto peered at her surroundings. Of course, the dorms. She'd come full-  
circle. A rueful smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. She knew she'd come back eventually. This was where she belonged. Her first real home in a long time.

The girl picked herself up and stumbled inside. Her thoughts failed her as her body steered her down the familiar hallway.

Pass this door, then the next.

Turn here.

Open the door, it's never locked.

The student room was just big enough for two beds, closets, a bathroom and a kitchenette. A small reading lamp on the nightstand provided the only illumination. Mikoto sighed as she saw the familiar figure sitting on the edge of one bed. The bed's occupant, another girl in a bathrobe, started slightly but quickly recovered.

"You came back," she said, putting down the hairbrush she'd been using. Mikoto only nodded.

The girl patted a place next to her on the bed. After a moment's hesitation, Mikoto came forward and sat next to her. The other girl looked at her appraisingly, eying her bedraggled clothing, her bruises and scratches. She placed a finger on Mikoto's cheek tracing an angry red line where a branch had scored it.

"I wish I could have spared you all this," she said mournfully. "I warned you but you had to see for yourself."

Mikoto's features darkened, she stared at her feet. Somewhere along the way she'd lost a shoe.

The other girl put a finger beneath her chin and gently raised her face.

"I used to be just like you," the girl said, "but I came to realize love is a trap. It's a burden loving someone and your feelings for them are also a burden. Do you understand what your coming back here means? It's like I said before, there can't be anything like that between us."

Instead of answering, Mikoto threw her arms around the other girl, burying her face in her neck. The scent of lightly perfumed soap tickled her nose. A hand gently threaded her badly-tousled hair.

"Just for tonight," Mikoto murmured.

Nao smiled as she reached to switch off the lamp.


	2. Chapter 2

Tokiha Mai awoke from a nightmare. Cold sweat pasted her strawberry-blonde hair to her scalp while breath returned to her lungs in ragged gasps. In the darkness, otherworldly creatures crouched fiendishly awaiting their turn to rend her flesh. 

Mai quickly flailed for the small lamp on her nightstand. The small globe of light sent specters fleeing into the murk, the monsters of the already fading dream became the more mundane shapes of a high school dorm's furniture.

As the runaway pounding of her heart slowed Mai peeked at her alarm clock's lighted display. 4:00 a.m.

"I have to be up in two hours," she sighed as she sank back to her pillow. By all rights Tokiha Mai should have slept the sleep of the truly content. Her date with Yuuichi had been lots of fun, even with Shiho acting as self-  
appointed chaperone.

Movement to her left caught her attention as her younger roommate shifted in her sleep. Mai smiled to herself. "That girl can sleep anywhere."

The happy thought was soon banished by a wave of unease. It was the same feeling which had dogged her the entire week. Something was wrong. This feeling of disquiet had intruded on her otherwise happy life, and she didn't know why.

Intruded. That was the answer. Mikoto hadn't intruded in Mai's bed for an entire week. By this time she'd be trying to disentangle herself from the smaller girl's limbs. In fact the feral girl hadn't intruded on Mai's personal space at all that week. No impromptu glomping, nuzzling or snuggling.

Mikoto was still mostly her normal, energetic self; however she seemed a bit subdued, muted.

The girl slept on in her usual fashion, her arms and legs askew, she'd kicked her sheets to the side. Clucking to herself Mai quietly rose to arrange the sleeping girl back beneath her sheets.

As Mai paused to look upon Mikoto's sleeping face she was suddenly struck by how troubled her sleep was . The feral girl's elfin features twisted into a grimace as she tossed in the throes of some dream.

Mai thought to rouse the girl but was caught short when she heard her own name.

"Mai..." Mikoto murmured. The sound was like a soft plea.

Tokiha Mai stood transfixed as she watched a stray tear leak from the younger girl's eye.

"Mai...I need...I need...Mai..." Mikoto's tears began to run steadily, soaking her pillow, her hands were opening and closing; reaching and grasping for something, or someone.

Mai finally managed to tear her gaze away fro the girl, banishing all thoughts of giving comfort. She quickly got back into bed and buried her head beneath her pillow. More than anything, she wanted to rush to Mikoto's side and hold her tight.

Hold her until her tears stopped and all her fears melted away. But she didn't dare. For this was too similar to a night a week ago. A night when Mai made a grievous error. A night when everything changed.

* * *

One week ago

With the storm came a feeling of claustrophobia. Rain battered the dorm building, creating a tunnel of sound. Tokiha Mai was propped upon two pillows, reading a novel. While detective adventures seemed a little bland compared to her very recent past she still enjoyed them.

"Mmm..."

The low murmur reached Mai's ear and she turned left to find her younger roommate, Mikoto tossing in a fitful slumber. Mai frowned, her thoughts turning to the weeks following the ill-fated HiME "festival." Mikoto had been plagued with nightmares recalling the destruction she'd unwittingly caused in the thrall of the Obsidian Lord.

Mikoto tried to explain it to her friend once. It was like trying to destroy the thing you loved the most, piece by piece. The feral girl would usually wake up screaming, and wouldn't calm until Mai held her close.

Mai arose, hoping this wasn't a relapse and knelt at Mikoto's side. As she reached out and touched her brow, Mikoto's pained expression eased, her furtive movements ceased.

"That's all it takes for you?" Mai quietly asked the sleeping girl as she let her hand slide downward to caress her cheek. Somehow Mikoto always managed to surprise her.

From their tumultuous first meeting when she'd cut a truck in two, to when she'd raced from the school building proudly waving her high school entrance exam scores; there were depths of strength in the girl Mai couldn't even begin to fathom.

"Mai...I...I..." Mikoto's voice brought Mai back to the present.

"What is it?"

"I...I..need..." The girls face twisted in what seemed like concentration, like she was trying to remember something important. "I...I need..."

The older girl leaned closer, her ear scant inches above her mouth.

"I need Mai," Mikoto said in the midst of a dream.

The flesh and blood Mai jerked backward, her heart pierced. She couldn't mean it like that. She doesn't know what she's saying.

"Mai...love..." came the plaintive plea. the sooner denied, the sooner confirmed.

Mai sat back, thunderstruck at the torrent of feelings within. "She couldn't possibly understand what that is, what love is."

Yet as she attempted to reason her way through this she was confronted again and again by Mikoto's past actions: Her vehement protection of Mai, even when she'd been turned away. Even if it meant Mai would hate her, even if it meant her own life. Even if it meant striking down her own brother, the one person she'd spent her young life searching for.

So no. Mai couldn't delude herself. Mikoto understood at least what it meant to love someone more than her own life and happiness. "So what does that make us?"

Mai found herself once more above Mikoto's face. The girl had settled into sleep, as her turmoil released by her dreamt confession. Mai knelt watching her, taking in every feature of her face.

She recalled all the nights when Mikoto stole into her bed, the smaller girl's warm body next to hers. The happy, content feeling knowing the girl depended upon her.

But it wasn't just that. It wasn't just prepared meals and lessons and forced baths and mended clothes. It was more. It was the reason Mai could never dismiss Mikoto as just a girl she'd want for a sister. It was the same reason Mai guiltily recalled the feeling of Mikoto's soft lips upon her own when she'd performed CPR.

The same feeling she was having now. But this wasn't CPR, it wasn't out of necessity. It was because she wanted to, needed to. Tonight. Now.

Realizing what she'd just done Mai pulled away her lips making and audible smack.

She clutched her chest as her runaway heart threatened to pound out of her chest.

Mai stared at those lips she had been so bold to take only moments ago.

"Mai.." those lips which had just formed her name. It was more of a sigh which sounded relieved.

And above those lips a pair of curious, gold eyes stared up at her.


	3. Chapter 3

Yuuki Nao preferred nights like this. It was late and stillness blanketed the girls' dorm. All of her noisy dorm mates had given up their giggle-filled gossip sessions and gone to bed. 

Even the birds ceased their jarring, atonal songs and turned in for the night.  
All that remained was the sound of the breeze flowing through the open window.  
Light from the full-moon showed through that window casting its pale brilliance upon her bed.

Said moonlight also showered upon the lithe form lying there. A girl at or near Nao's age, but with smaller proportions lay facing away from her. The bed sheets were pulled down so Nao could trace the fine lines of her bare shoulders, the curve of her back, the slight rise of her posterior.

Even if that last was hidden beneath the sheet, Nao found the outline alluring. Minagi Mikoto was a late bloomer, yet her blossoming promised to be most beautiful. The straight lines of her youthful body were slowly softening into more feminine curves. Her hips had become more pronounced, legs had grown longer and more toned. And while she'd never be as well endowed as the freakishly top-heavy Tokiha woman, Nao found Mikoto's bust to be the perfect handful.

"How obscene of me!" Nao laughed softly to herself. She'd been doing a lot of that lately. Somehow just being around Mikoto made her feel better. Made her feel wanted.

"Is that what Tokiha get's from you?" Nao asked the dozing girl. "Is that what you want from her as well?"

Looking at the sleeping girl, Yuuki Nao was befuddled by Tokiha Mai's reluctance to accept Mikoto's feelings, or to even acknowledge them.

Minagi Mikoto was such an interesting person. Much like the blade of a finely honed sword, she was strong and sharp, able to cut through most problems without much effort. Yet, if the blade were to strike an unyielding surface, its brittle edge would chip, its cutting power dulled.

The feral girl had come to her one night, her edge chipped and broken on the unyielding stone of unrequited love. And Nao took her in, taking what pain she could from the girl.

Unable to resist the urge, Nao reached out and traced her fingers along the smaller girl's spine, pleased at the other's slight shiver and light hmmm, of recognition.

It would be so easy to love a girl like her. Mikoto loved all the way or not at all. On the surface it seems simple-minded of the girl, however "all the way" meant that she loved with her entire being. She would gladly trade her life for the ones she loved. But, since she expected nothing at all in return, she treated every sign of affection from others as a gift from Heaven.

Nao's hand returned to caress Mikoto's bare shoulder and wrapped her hand around it.

Nao's grip tightened, her fingernails biting into the soft skin as she roughly turned the girl to face her. She descended upon Mikoto, more ravishing her lips than actually kissing them, forcing her tongue inside her mouth.

Nao stifled a yelp of pain as a hand found her red hair and pulled sharply. She suddenly found herself on her back staring up at a pair of hungry, golden eyes.

Yes, it would be easy to love a girl like Minagi Mikoto.

But love wasn't what Nao wanted.


	4. Chapter 4

The lamps were lit at Fuuka Gakuen. Streetlamps illuminated the cobbled lanes as strolling couples slowly returned home from a night out. Lamps lit up dormitory windows as students ate, talked or studied in their rooms. Lamps burned in the school buildings as teachers worked at grading tests and essays. 

Among the happy couples, yet outside of them a lone figure walked. A girl of sixteen years wore a rumpled Fuuka high school division uniform, the blazer pulled tightly about her. Her strawberry-blonde hair was raked sloppily, strands hung in her face. Her skirt was askew around her waist.

The couples, absorbed in their own bliss, ignored this lone girl; banishing her to the periphery of their collective consciousness. As she scampered between pools of light, Tokiha Mai wondered if all the lamps were to trap the light inside or to keep out the darkness.

She impatiently brushed hair out of her eyes as she dodged yet another couple enjoying a stolen intimate moment. "They should do that in private," Mai thought bitterly, "Instead of inflicting that on the rest of us."

Mai abandoned the street and cut through the academy grounds which were thankfully devoid of students. Traveling across empty playing fields and courtyards, Mai quickened her pace. While it was a warm night and the blazer stifled her, she never slowed.

Now approaching the school gardens, Mai began to regret her course. The scent of new blossoms was overwhelming. Yet, instead of invigorating her, the display sickened her with its showcase of senseless beauty.

Passing row upon row of manicured, flowering shrubs and bushes, Mai was reminded of the first time she'd come here. She was looking for someone. Now she felt like she was running away. The open gazebo rose in her path. Its round columns bedecked with flowering vines was illuminated with diffused lights. And as if from a dream a fairy stepped into that soft light.

A figure in a sleeveless, pearlescent blue dress with a peasant waist and matching laced sandals. The hem hung just below the knees, enough to show off toned, white calves. Down the girl's back flowed a cascade of dark hair allowed to fly free in the breeze.

"Kuga-san?" Mai gasped despite herself.

The apparition turned and by the wide-set emerald eyes it was indeed her senpai, Kuga Natsuki.

"Tokiha," Natsuki replied quietly. Her face was serene as if the cares she had carried with her entire life had been lifted. "What brings you all the way out here?"

"Oh, I'm...on my way home," Mai flustered.

"A date with Tate, eh?" Natsuki smiled.

"Yeah...something like that," the younger girl mumbled. "But why are you here looking so..."

"This?" the dark haired girl asked indicating her ensemble. "Sunday night is traditionally date night at Fuuka. I thought I'd like to try it at least once, so I'm waiting to get picked up."

"Is it Fujino-kaichou-sama?" A wide-eyed Mai asked.

"Of course," Natsuki replied with a wistful smile (Mai never thought such an expression could cross the normally prickly girl's face.) "Though she's not the president anymore."

"Sorry," Mai said.

Natsuki only smiled.

"But why here and this late?"

"The first part is easy," Natsuki replied. "This is where we first met. I think it was the first time I was in awe of anyone. The second part gets a little complicated. Shizuru's studying business in Tokyo, so she can't see me very often. In fact it's been about a month since the last time."

"You don't seem to mind that," Mai observed.

"Not really, it's better this way." Natsuki replied. "Shizuru has always supported me, even when I didn't know she did. I was used to being on my own, fighting my own battles. So when I found out what she was doing I wanted to make sure that's what I wanted. So I asked her not to visit too frequently."

"What did you find out?"

"That I need her. My life was ripped away from me I wanted to fight any and everyone who got in my way. Shizuru taught me that...I don't have to always fight. There's a place I can be at peace. Living for revenge nearly needed my life. I think I'll try living for love for a while."

Taken aback, Mai asked, "Are you sure you're the same person?"

"Not really. Though I think I like the person I'm turning into."

"Um...Kuga-san..." Mai hesitated, not sure how to phrase the next question. "How do you and Fujino-san get past...you know..."

"Honestly? It's not something that's come up. Us both being girls didn't occur to me until after it happened."

"I thought you freaked our when you found out about her feelings, at least that's what Yukino said."

"It was more what she did at the time than what she felt." Natsuki answered. She looked away towards some indeterminate spot in the distance. "She took advantage of me when I was at my weakest point. It took me a long time to forgive her, even though I understand her better now. Shizuru loved me more than she loved herself.

"Having to hold herself back like that, never telling me how she felt must have hurt her more than anything. Taking out all my enemies, any kind of threat to me must have been the only way she could show me."

Natsuki looked back at Mai, her expression suddenly pained. "And there's one more thing. I felt I was a truly unnecessary person. So what gave Fujino Shizuru the right to love someone like me?"

"You felt that way," Mai said quietly.

"Not very rational is it?" Natsuki asked, her smile returning with new brilliance. "I got over that eventually. It's not so terrible to be loved by someone. Even if it is a little scary sometimes I won't let her go. I think I'll let her love me. That way I have a chance to love her back."

Mai hung her head, hugging herself tightly. Natsuki was astonished to find tears running down the younger girl's face.

"Tokiha?"

"I-it's nothing," Mai said quickly as she brushed away the tears. To do this she unclasped her arms which pulled open her uniform blazer. Underneath her blouse was ripped in several places and missing several buttons. Her bra was also missing. Small bruises trailed down her neck towards her breast.

"Mai," Natsuki gasped. "What happened?"


	5. Chapter 5

Education held little interest for Minagi Mikoto. Granted, she knew she needed to pass classes and get good grades, but the minutia of school life was boring for her. When the day wore on and the history teacher droned on about the price of rice in the Meiji Era, the feral girl's mind wandered. 

She hadn't wandered far when she met the cool, green gaze of her classmate, Yuuki Nao. The redhead was looking up from her cell phone where she was doubtlessly sending a message to a male acquaintance. Mikoto watched Nao's mouth form a devilish smile.

So...she has a date for tonight. Mikoto thought with a small pang. Whether it was from loss or jealousy, she didn't know. Nor did she wish to know. Minagi Mikoto didn't like to dwell on her relationship with Nao. She'd come to her sometimes and Nao would touch her. Sometimes it made her body feel good, but it did little else.

Though their encounters would begin with no small amount of pain, afterwards Nao could be gentle, sometimes even tender towards Mikoto. However, those moments were short-lived at best. Nao would adopt a disgusted look and order Mikoto to go home.

"It's better this way," Mikoto mused.

She didn't have to worry about loving Nao. She wasn't even sure she liked Nao. But even if what they did together was too raw, too animalistic to be called lovemaking, the afterwards was worth it. The tender afterwards was even better than the during. It almost made up for the fact that she couldn't love Nao. It almost made up for the fact that Nao would never be Mai.

Mikoto felt her cell phone buzz. She surreptitiously opened the cover to find the message:

"STUDY HALL. GIRL'S GYM."

Mikoto looked back to find her read-haired classmate giving her a mirthless smile. She shivered at the thought of what Nao had in store for her this time. But the afterwards...

Minagi Mikoto could endure a little pain for that.


	6. Chapter 6

Fujino Shizuru's attention was always on the details. From chartering her family's fastest business jet, to recruiting a classmate to take notes for her while she was away from university for the overnight trip, the former-student council president took care to solve all of life's little problems. It gave her time to ponder the larger problems. Such as why her breakfast companion and love of her life, Kuga Natsuki, was staring off into space with a clearly unhappy expression. 

Shizuru watched as Natsuki absently toyed with the fresh fruit on her plate. She would occasionally pick up a strawberry and bring it tantalizingly close to her lovely lips, but then change her mind and put it back down.

The former student council president was at a loss as to what was bothering her love. Were the fresh flowers, hand-made tablecloth, silver tea service and fully liveried butler too much? Shizuru didn't believe so.

Perhaps it was the strange looks the couple was getting from the other diners, in the middle of the Fuuka Gakuen cafeteria.

"I might have over done it again," Shizuru said aloud.

"Huh?" Natsuki awoke from her ruminations. "Oh, it's not that...but next time, I think we can do without the violin player."

Shizuru winced as if wounded in the heart. I KNEW I should have ordered the viola instead.

"You should let me spoil you more often," she said as she picked up a croissant and buttered it before offering it to her raven-haired companion.

"Th-thanks." Shizuru thought Natsuki's blush prettily set off her ivory skin. She was quite Pleased that she had been the one to put it there.

"Natsuki, what is it?" Shizuru asked, all hints of teasing gone from her voice.

"It shows that much?"

"You were also distracted last night," Shizuru replied. "Despite all my efforts to keep you...focused."

Natsuki squirmed under Shizuru's soft interrogation. Her love would never force the truth from her, but Fujino Shizuru would likewise never give up easily. If something was bothering Natsuki, Shizuru would not allow her to suffer in silence.

"It's Tokiha Mai," Natsuki said quietly. "I think she's in serious trouble.

* * *

For Tokiha Mai, sewing was much like life. If it tore mend it. Mai was good at mending things. New hems for skirts, new buttons for blouses and sweaters, she could even darn socks if needed. But what happened when something didn't' tear along the seam?

"Do what you can to repair the damage and try to hide your stitches," Mai recalled as she sewed.

It was before classes and Mai was in the home economics sewing lab mending uniforms. While she could just as easily have worked in her room, Mai preferred the larger machines here.

Besides, she preferred the solitude here. Nothing but the toneless hum and click of the machines. She searched her sewing box for another button. Mikoto seemed to be loosing a lot of those lately. She'd have to talk to the feral girl about it later.

"Routine communication," Mai said bitterly to herself. "That's what we're reduced to."

She and her closest friend barely spoke to each other now. When Mikoto would come home she'd regale her roommate with news from her classes to the antics of her fellow students. No more.

Mai was lucky to get a good morning out of her. But there was more. Sometimes the younger girl would come home late with no explanation. She'd simply take a bath and go to sleep.

She was losing Mikoto, and it was her own fault. With the realization came pain, a pain that seared Mai's heart.

After the HiME Festival, Tokiha Mai had done her best to mend the pieces of her life into something resembling a complete tapestry. However, the image that emerged was a jumbled collage of patterns; none of which seemed to match. She had unconsciously traced one pattern which kept reappearing, Mikoto. Then, in a moment of emotional confusion, she'd done a terrible thing. A tear papered on her very life.

Yet, the tear on her life was not along the seams. She'd done her best to mend it and only succeeded in widening the tear. Now, as she tried to hide her stitches she'd done another terrible thing. One that she couldn't take back.

Mai picked up another skirt, whose hem was unraveling. A thread had come loose and the more it was pulled, the worse the damage became.

"It was fine," Mai whispered. "Why did I have to pull that thread? Why couldn't I leave it alone?" The light-grey fabric darkened to black as moisture seeped through.  
Mai hugged the skirt to her breast.

"Forgive me..."

* * *

Natsuki sat quietly contemplating her breakfast while Shizuru was busy on her cell phone. After hearing about Natsuki's evening encounter with Mai, Shizuru had been on the phone for the last ten minutes.

"What exactly are you doing?" Natsuki finally asked.

Shizuru paused and turned her lovely red gaze upon her love. "Tokiha-san isn't the type of person to say what's bothering her. I'm afraid the situation is too volatile to wait for her to say it on her own." Shizuru smiled pleasantly. "Since investigations like these aren't my forte' I'm calling in reinforcements."

"Reinforcements?" Natsuki queried. "You don't have to go that far."

"I'll do everything I can for one of Natsuki's beloved friends," Shizuru answered. "I'm a bit ashamed really."

"Why?" Natsuki asked as she watched Shizuru's lips form a frown.

"Because my heart was only big enough for Natsuki, I hurt people, made them suffer." Shizuru's smile returned as she reached over to caress Natsuki's cheek. "But your heart is big enough to let others in. That's just another reason why I love you so much."

Shizuru went back to her call, leaving Natsuki with a small pang of loss. Right then, she'd wanted to pour her feelings out in front of everyone. Shizuru had that effect on her. I made the right choice, letting her in.

Yet, the question of exactly whom Shizuru was calling for "reinforcements" nagged at Natsuki. An army of detectives perhaps? Shizuru never could do anything on a small scale.

"I'm delivering a speech to the Tea Ceremony Club this afternoon, but I could put them off..." Shizuru said into the phone. "All right, that will be lovely. I'm glad to have an investigator of your caliber working on this case."

Is it Scotland Yard? Natsuki wondered incredulously.

"Thank you for your kindness in this matter Harada-san. Give my best to Senou-san."

Shizuru closed her phone and resumed her meal.


	7. Chapter 7

_Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth._

Somehow, Yuuki Nao couldn't believe that. Even here in this sacred place the words of "Our Savior" rang hollow. For the meekest among us remained downtrodden under the heels of others.

Nao enjoyed cleaning this small, country church. It wasn't much but it was something. Maybe someday, through her deeds she might gain absolution for her sins. Her many, many sins.

Sins of morality, sins of carnality. She'd hunted and captured and robbed and assaulted. But they were all tainted with the stain of sin. She only brought them a step toward redemption by relieving them of their worldly goods. Yet even with all her work, she could only point them towards redemption. She could not save them. Yuuki Nao was powerless.

"The meek shall inherit the earth, huh?" The redhead scoffed as she polished the statue of the Holy Mother.

"If I were like you," Nao said. "Pure like you, would I be able to bring salvation?"

No. Purity was a distant memory for Nao. Even if she'd never let the filthy men touch her with their sordid hands she was still tainted by her own past, her own sins. Her life was forfeit. However, there was one thing she could do. Yuuki Nao could at least save one life.

Minagi Mikoto WAS meek. Yet, the earth had only delivered one heartbreak after another. She was slowly drowning because of the heart given to her by the so-called "merciful" God. Her would-be protector, Tokiha Mai was the source of her turmoil.

Nao's fists clenched at the very thought of that name. How many times had Mai played with her heart, led her by a rope around her neck, only to leave Mikoto tied to a wall, unfulfilled.

Had she not been in the "Lord's House" Nao would have spat out the bile she tasted in her mouth.

As Nao gathered her cleaning supplies and untied the kerchief which held back her red hair, the doors to the chapel creaked open. A vaguely familiar figure walked in, her face obscured by the sudden flood of sunlight.

"Excuse me, is the priest here?" the girl asked hesitantly. "I-I need someone to hear my confession."

As the familiar girl came forward Yuuki Nao smiled a smile much like the statue of the benevolent Holy Mother. This was truly a sign from Heaven. Her course was correct and the salvation of Minagi Mikoto would succeed.

For God had delivered the method of salvation to her.

"All are welcome in the House of the Lord, Tokiha Mai-san"


	8. Chapter 8

Harada Chie loved solving puzzles. From elementary 400 piece jigsaws to a 10,000 piece monstrosity with only one color; blue, she loved the satisfaction of watching the picture come together. 

However, this current puzzle eluded her. Pieces were missing from the box and what pieces she had seemed to be from different puzzles altogether.

"Tokiha Mai," Chie mused as she brushed her short, dark hair before her washroom mirror. "Tate Yuuichi; he doesn't seem to be the type who'd hurt a girl..."

"What was that?" Came a call from the dorm room's kitchenette. Chie replaced the brush and put on her black-rimmed glasses before exiting.

A girl of her approximate age with long, dark-brown hair was bustling about the kitchenette wearing a Fuuka Gakuen uniform and a pink, ruffled apron with the legend "Kiss the Cook."

Chie, always trusting the written word did so, eliciting a smile and giggle from her roommate Senou Aoi.

"It's almost ready so please sit down," Aoi said.

"You're in a good mood this morning," Chie said as she pulled up a cushion and sat at the low table. Breakfast things had already been set out; steamed rice, pickled daikon AND umeboshi, tamagoyaki and even Chie's favorite, miso soup with tofu.

"Maybe I thought I'd do something nice for you," Aoi replied as she set down the grilled fish.

"Whatever I did to deserve this, remind me to keep doing it," Chie mused.

"I will," Aoi sat across from her. "Tonight."

"Itadakimasu," Chie picked up her chopsticks and took a bite, noticing her love's look of anticipation. She allowed the moment to drag out watching the expression turn into trepidation. "Oishii," she finally said.

"Thank goodness," Aoi breathed, deflating with relief.

"You have an exam coming up?" the bespectacled girl asked as she ate.

"Yes. Sorry for using you as a guinea pig," Aoi said with out much shame. "So what about Tate Yuuichi?"

"It's just he doesn't seem the type to hurt a girl," Chie said as she dug into the pickles. "But given the evidence and Mai's appearance Sunday night, it looks bad."

"Akane-chan said she saw the two of them at the same restaurant she and Kazu-kun went to. So they were definitely on a date that night," the long-haired girl said.

Chie mulled over this while sipping her tea. It was no secret Kuga Natsuki had become good friends with Mai. But the only reason she hadn't already hunted Yuuichi down and fed him his own gonads was that she didn't believe it herself. So what was the true story?

"Mai-san is different too," she said aloud. "She walks around looking depressed."

"But isn't Mai the type of person who'd keep smiling no matter what was bothering her?" Aoi asked.

"She used to be. But since that disturbance last year she's been better at showing her emotions," Chie answered. "Have you had any luck talking to Mikoto-chan yet?"

"She's still avoiding me," Aoi replied crestfallen. "I sent her a text message yesterday asking her to join me for lunch but she never showed up."

"It's not like Mikoto-chan to pass up free food," Chie said slowly. "She could know something about all this."

"I...don't think so," Aoi said quietly. She looked down at her hands and clutched at her apron. Chie reached out and took her hand into her own. Aoi gathered some resolve and plunged on.

"Mikoto-chan's class had a study hall that afternoon," Aoi began. "I was running some papers out to the lacrosse coach when I saw them behind the girls' gym."

"Them?" Chie prompted.

"Yes, Mikoto-chan and my old roommate, Yuuki Nao-chan."

* * *

Devout Christians routinely confessed their sins for absolution. Neither devout nor even Christian, Tokiha Mai had never felt more like confessing. Sister Yukariko had once explained some of it to her. At the time it seemed like an interesting study of religion,  
however Mai never thought she'd be a participant.

The small, country chapel on the Fuuka Gakuen grounds was unlike the gothic European monstrosities she'd seen in books but it still intimidated her. High, stained-glass windows colored the room in reds, blues and greens. She came forward past the rows of pews where the faithful prayed.

Yuuki Nao, the formerly prickly redhead was standing beside the altar where she had finished her cleaning for the day.

"Father Callahan is visiting the sick right now," she said. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Only the priest can hear my confession, right?" Mai said, disappointment in her voice.

"In a formal confession, yes." Nao replied. "However I can still listen to your problems. What's said here stays here."

Mai stood there considering her options. The high school counselor seemed like a good idea now. But she had an alarming habit of bringing the other parties involved to "talk it out," and Mai had absolutely no wish to confront anyone. But Nao was, for want of a better term morally bankrupt. Her activities with men were notorious at Fuuka. That put her in no position to pass judgment.

It might be safe to talk to her.

Nao ushered her into a side room whose walls were lined with high shelves of dusty religious texts. A large, mahogany table in the center of the room held several leather-bound tomes with Latin names. The room had no windows and was lit with two shaded lamps.

Seated at the table, Nao allowed her green eyes to pierce Mai's blue, reveling in the older girl's discomfort. Her eyes held an almost haunted quality.

"It started at the HiME Festival," Mai began," but it really began last week."

Nao tried not to tune her out as she knew the story but not from this angle.

She remembered seeing Mikoto that morning a smile like unfiltered sunlight on her face. Hung-over and grouchy, Nao wanted nothing more than to wipe that look off her classmate. Yet, when Mikoto relayed what Mai had done the previous night she was dumbfounded. This didn't sound like little-miss-perfect Tokiha Mai at all. The redhead still couldn't fathom why she'd not blasted the girl's dreams right then and there. Instead she'd given a gentle warning about expecting too much from something as nebulous as love.

"I didn't know what to do next," Mai continued. "I wanted to talk to Mikoto about it but I couldn't take the look in her eyes. I mean, I'm not that way...I don't feel like that about other girls. It's just that when I looked at Mikoto...when we're together..."

"Forbidden fruit," Nao said with a smile. "Humans always yearn for the thing they shouldn't have. It's the basis of our sinful nature. But there's something you're not telling me. A simple kiss couldn't be the only thing."

"Y-yes," the older girl replied anxiously. "That day I told Mikoto to come back to our room at 8:00 to talk. After that I called Yuuichi."

Mai looked at the table, drops of her tears began to collect on the dark surface.

"How much did she see?" Although she knew the story well Nao, felt her hands clenching, fingernails biting into her palms.

"I just wanted to set her free!" Mai cried. "I thought if I could do that things would go back to normal. That Mikoto would understand that it was just a stupid mistake!"

Mai finally broke down sobbing pitifully.

"You let her see the two of you together," Nao supplied and Mai could only nod.

"The look on her face," Mai sobbed. "She wasn't even angry. I actually saw what it looks like when someone's heart breaks."

As Mai doubled over with grief, Nao stood, rounded the table and gently pulled the older girl's head into an embrace.

"Your sins are heavy but all is not lost," she said quietly. "There is something you can do to atone."

"What's that?" Mai's voice held the slightest trace of fragile hope. However, the expression on her confessor's face would have frozen her to the core had she seen it.

Yuuki Nao smiled and answered: "Penance."


	9. Chapter 9

Penance. The word felt right in some way. To Tokiha Mai, it meant a chance to make things right. To mend the hurts of her actions by seeking forgiveness from the ones she had wronged. 

The day was warm and bright sunlight shone through the many trees lining the Fuuka Gakuen courtyards. Classes were over for the day and many of the students not in after school clubs had either gone home or left campus. The sense of solitude put Mai at ease. It was far simpler to wander the empty pathways lost in thought than to confront what was to come.

It had seemed so simple when she'd left the chapel. Mai's first step on the path toward redemption would be difficult but not nearly so as her planned conversation with one feral girl. Compared to her, the heartache and pain of this day would be a breeze.

"Those who love the truth will find the path in time," Nao had told her. The truth was her only way out, her only light in the darkness. Yet, what happens when you, yourself don't know what that truth is?

Somehow, Mai felt, the truth of her feelings and the truth of her present life didn't match up. For her sanity's sake she had to take this first step.

Her physical steps ended outside the Fuuka Gakuen sports buildings. Within the complex stood an old-fashioned style dojo where the high school kendo club held practice. The sounds of stomping, tabi-clad feet, sharp breaths and the crack of clashing bamboo wafted outside.

After taking a large breath, Mai shed her shoes, stepped forward and knocked. The door slid open to reveal the unfamiliar face of a first-year member.

"Please forgive the intrusion of your practice," Mai said formally. "I'm Tokiha Mai, Second Year High School section. I need to speak with your Captain, Tate Yuuichi"

* * *

The meeting took place in Natsuki's dorm room. Harada Chie and her companion Senou Aoi sat together on cushions, while across the table, their host Kuga Natsuki sat with her lady love, Fujino Shizuru. Both looked rather frazzled as the former president's speech to the Tea Ceremony Club had ended in pandemonium. A planning mistake had the Shizuru fan club (which still held weekly meetings) sitting next to the fledgling Kikukawa Yukino fan club.

Natsuki, who usually eschewed such meetings made a note to attend more often if they were always this exciting. She stole a glance at Shizuru whose ruby eyes studied the screen of a cell phone.

"Your thoughts Senou-san," she said after some reflection.

Aoi suddenly recalled being called to the blackboard in math class when she had no idea what the correct answer was.

"Um...from what I saw, it looks like Nao and Mikoto-chan are an item," she replied carefully.

"I asked what your thoughts on the matter are," Shizuru said rather sternly.

"Shizuru," Natsuki breathed. Her love's eyes had gone hard as steel with no provocation. Just what was she getting at?

"I...um..." Aoi was at a loss for words. The former president, so genteel and graceful was staring at her now, staring through her. Aoi was shaken by her very presence which seemed to fill this small room.

Chie felt compelled to put a protective arm around the girl.

"At first," Aoi began. "I thought it was great that two cute girls like them were together. But when I look at these," she indicated the cell phone. "The relationship seems so...joyless."

"I thought as much," Shizuru agreed handing the phone back. "Forgive me for being so harsh, but you're a good judge of character and I needed a second opinion."

"It doesn't make much sense," Chie interjected. "Nao's always been man-hungry, so why hook up with another girl? Especially Mikoto."

"It's more like she treats them like paper dolls," Natsuki intoned.

"It's another mystery to add to the list," Chie said. "But it may be connected to our main mystery; what happened to Mai."

The others leaned forward, listening raptly.

"Two weeks ago Mai and Mikoto were barely seen together. I originally thought they'd had a fight over something trivial but now with Aoi's find it can't be just coincidence that Mikoto has taken up with Nao of all people."

"Could it be that...?" Shizuru's summation was cut off by the ringing of a cell phone.

Chie answered and listened for a few seconds, her eyes widened. "Yeah, thanks again." "An acquaintance saw Mai headed toward the Sports Complex a few minutes ago."

"She doesn't belong to any sports clubs," Aoi recalled. "Oh no! Could she be trying to...?"

The front door slammed open and Natsuki was already on her way.

* * *

The office was cramped. Though, cramped was generous. The small room just off the kendo club practice floor was crammed full of papers and training manuals, its walls literally covered with framed photos of the club at various tournaments and exhibitions.

Tokiha Mai sat upon a cushion sipping tea while across the low table, the young captain, Tate Yuuichi sat avoiding her eyes. Kendo club captain in only your second year and you can't even face your own girlfriend he berated himself.

But something was hurting Mai, something he, Yuuichi couldn't touch. Somehow he knew that her current condition was his fault. As the man who'd sworn to protect her he was ashamed.

"Mai..." he began. Tate winced as the normally, vivacious Mai seemed to withdraw even more from him. "I-I'm sorry Mai. It was too soon for you. But I just kept pushing..."

"Tate..."

"I couldn't just let it go..."

"Tate...no..."

"Why am I such a jerk! I don't deserve to be loved by you!"

"YOU'RE WRONG!" Mai exclaimed. Yuuichi was startled to silence. "I'm the one who doesn't deserve to be loved. I'm disgusting."

Yuuichi was stunned to see Mai's facade crumble. Tears ran freely down her cheeks.

"I did something terrible to Mikoto," Mai continued, her voice trembling now. "I tried to fix it by letting her see the two of us together. I thought she'd understand what happened was a mistake and she'd accept it.

"But the next time I saw you, when I came to your room, all I could think about was how I'd used you. No matter how I looked at it, I was just using you again. But this time, instead of convincing Mikoto of our relationship, I was trying to convince myself."

After all of the HiME business and being practically dead for a while Tate Yuuichi thought there was little else Tokiha Mai could do to surprise him. However, this came as quite a shock. He'd spent days punishing himself mentally and physically for imagined crimes against the woman he loved. Yet, now she was taking the blame for what happened.

Tate rounded the table and took Mai by the shoulders. "Why do you always have to take everything on yourself?" he tried to see her eyes but Mai refused to meet his gaze. While he was surprised and hurt by Mai's confession, there was something else, something she was holding back.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER!"

Both pairs of eyes snapped toward the office entrance where an irate Kuga Natsuki stood. Her green eyes blazed as she stood in a combat stance. A first-year team member lay at her feet.

"S-sempai, we...tried...to stop her," he croaked."

Yuuichi sighed raggedly and released Mai's shoulders. "Take everybody on a few laps around the track," he said.

When the student managed to drag himself away Tate offered the brunette girl a seat.

Natsuki didn't sit but she did take a protective position next to Mai. "Explain yourself," she addressed Yuuichi. "And maybe I'll settle for just breaking your arms before we call the cops."

"Not his fault..." Mai said softly.

"What?"

"It's not his fault," Mai's voice came, stronger this time.

"Don't take up for him!" Natsuki objected.

"It's the truth!" Mai cried, her tears starting anew. "That night, when you saw me like that, I tried to give myself to Yuuichi."

"Mai..." Natsuki's eyes widened in disbelief.

"But I couldn't go through with it so I ran away," Mai continued. "But that's not the worst of it." She was looking at Yuuichi now whose expression had become unreadable.

"I didn't run just because I was embarrassed or ashamed, Tate. I ran because I wanted to be with someone that night, and it wasn't you."


	10. Chapter 10

_For the one you love, you can become a demon._

Minagi Mikoto recalled hearing that once. For her brother, the Obsidian Lord, she had become a soulless killing machine. She's hurt people she counted as beloved. She'd killed Jii. The stains on her soul were as bloody red as her deeds. Yet, Tokiha Mai, her guardian, her friend had seen past that.

In Mai's smile Mikoto had found a place where she was accepted and loved. She, who was taught only to rely on her skills and her wits, found solace in depending on another. Mai whose heart was always full with the cares of others, still had room for a feral girl. This pitiful creature that destroyed all around her in the name of a twisted love that didn't even exist.

This pitiful creature, who could only find peace in the sordid arms of her former enemy. Mikoto had decided. What she did with Nao made her feel dirty inside. But the more tainted she felt, the more depression would set in. And the more the depression set in, the more she felt the need for the small amount of comfort Nao provided.

Realizing that she was in a trap did nothing to help her escape. She was bound by the chains of her heart. There was no escape.

A hand softly caressed her cheek and Mikoto managed not to cringe away. She turned to meet curious, green eyes which were filled with mirth.

"Daydreaming?" Nao asked lightly as she lay gazing at her companion.

The pair was lounging on a grassy hillock just outside the campus. While the sun blazed in this cloudless day, the trees above and about them gave ample shade. Along the hillock, bees lazily browsed a chorus of wildflowers. All here was at rest.

Yuuki Nao, on the other hand, was feeling restless. Here she was, in her favorite spot with her favorite plaything and yet she was not at peace. Having sworn to rescue Mikoto from this horrid, unrequited love, Nao was at a loss for what to do next. Mai had taken steps, to the point of rutting with her smarmy boyfriend to dissuade her roommate's romantic fantasies. However, this diminutive brunette refused to see the truth:

It wasn't that Mai didn't love Mikoto; she was simply not capable of doing so. Even as Mikoto slowly realized this truth, even as she lay with Nao in this most romantic of places, her heart still held her captive. Perhaps she would have been happier as the Obsidian Lord's pet killer.

"No," Nao said to herself. "She wants what people think of as true love. Even if she'll never find it in this life."

Nao's lips were upon her again. Mikoto's eyes widened a bit as this kiss felt somewhat different from the others. The quality was almost...earnest. Those thoughts were quickly banished as a hand grazed her inner thigh.

"I almost slipped there," Nao thought. "I almost let myself fall. I mustn't do that again, for both our sakes."

The redhead forced her attention away from that place; that false place where actions are ruled by emotion. She instead focused on the very real realm of carnal pleasure.

* * *

People can only handle so much truth. Everyone says honesty was the best policy and a multitude of other meaningless drivel, but no one ever truly means it. A person could drown in too much of the truth.

Tokiha Mai had once been lost in that deluge. The truth of the source of the HiME's power, what, or whom she was wagering every time she used it and what use of that power turned her into had overwhelmed her. Broken and defeated she'd run to the arms of one who would be her enemy.

If Reito had decided to take her that night, would she have had the wherewithal to stop him? Would she have even tried? Looking at Yuuichi today, she'd seen the same look of hopeless disbelief that must have been in her eyes a year ago.

She was back in her room now. Natsuki had taken her home and made her some barley tea which pretty much exhausted her culinary skills. Yet, Mai was grateful. A friend like Natsuki was hard to come by.

However, that friend wanted something of her. She sat on the bed across from Mai, those brilliant, green eyes searching wanting to draw out that terrible truth.

"I'm not like you," she finally said. Natsuki arched an eyebrow. "You know what I mean. I don't like girls that way. I never have."

"But still you wanted to be with Mikoto," Natsuki reminded her.

"It wasn't like that at first!" Mai exclaimed. "It ISN'T like that I mean. Mikoto's just...just..."

"The one you wanted to be with," Natsuki supplied.

"NO!" Mai cried out. "It's Yuuichi! He's the one I love. He's the one who's most precious to me."

"Then you shouldn't have a problem," the raven-haired girl replied coldly.

"Don't you get it?" Mai demanded. "It HAS to be Yuuichi. He swore to protect me and love me forever. He fought for me, even though it would mean his life, and he's given so much to be with me. It was my feelings for HIM that helped me face the Obsidian Lord."

"I'm not the one you need to convince, Mai," Natsuki observed.

"It HAS to be him," Mai's voice quavered on the verge of tears. "Because if it's not, everything I've told myself I've felt is a lie."

Somehow Mai held back the tears, however nature abhors a vacuum and the silence left behind was deafening.

"Hey, why don't I get us something to eat?" Natsuki offered, trying desperately to fill the quiet.

"I could cook something," Mai began, but the older girl would hear nothing of it.

"Not in your condition," she said as she made for the door. "I'll be back in a few minutes." And she was gone.

Left to her own devices, Mai tried to figure a way out of dinner. Companionship was the last thing she wanted tonight. Or deserved.

Natsuki's cell phone chirped where she'd left it in the kitchenette. Making her way over, Mai guiltily hoped it was Shizuru so she'd have an iron-clad excuse to send the other girl home.

Yet, when she opened the phone there was only a text message from Senou Aoi of all people.

Kuga-san,  
I captured this today but I didn't know what to do with it. It seems those two are a LOT further along than simply "making out." Should we do anything about this?

Intrigued, Mai opened the attached video file. Suddenly Mai's knees unhinged as her legs could no longer support her. Dropping to the floor she still clutched the cell phone, its back-lit screen garishly projecting the ghastly image.

Hands, fingers, and lips. Touching and groping. An entanglement of arms and legs which could only be possible in the midst of passion.

Uniform deftly removed to expose an undergarment, a hand disappearing up the skirt.

The images were coming too fast and too many to make sense of.

"Mikoto..." Mai gasped, her breath stolen from her body.

The Truth had found Tokiha Mai yet again.


	11. Chapter 11

Kuga Natsuki returned to the dorm laden with take-out bags. From them came the spicy aroma of Armenian foods. The proprietors, an elderly couple, were friends of hers and insisted she take a double portion of the house special. 

Natsuki managed to push open the door only to find the room in darkness.

"Mai!" Natsuki called out, dropping her parcels on the table.

A low whimper was her only answer. Rounding the bed, the older girl found Mai huddled against the wall, her arms wrapped around her knees. The younger girl sat rocking gently, muttering to herself. Her strawberry-blonde hair had fallen into her eyes. On the floor before her lay Natsuki's open cell phone.

* * *

Nao usually skipped morning Mass preferring to sleep in. However Father Callahan, the new priest, was a stickler for punctuality. He was young and this was his first parish. Nao secretly wondered if the Diocese had gone mad giving this poor fellow Fuuka Gakuen as his first assignment.

As the Father was saying goodbye to the devout, Nao yawned and slinked out, hoping for a pre-class nap in the rectory. Intending to curl up in Father Callahan's comfy desk chair, she was surprised to see a familiar figure.

"It's rare to see you outside the basement, Miyu" Nao said.

The figure turned from where she'd been arranging books. "Good morning, Yuuki Nao. It's been six days since I've encountered you last." The android, Miyu regarded her with startling, red eyes.

"It's been that long?" Nao queried as she climbed into the chair. The old leather was truly most comfortable. "Alyssa-chan keeping you up nights?"

"Ojou-sama's condition keeps her in constant pain though she tries to hide it from me," Miyu replied. "She has grown another three centimeters in the last week."

The "condition" Miyu spoke of was a consequence of Alyssa Searrs' unnatural birth. It had taken years to develop an artificial HiME who could survive using her power. The Searrs Foundation found that limiting Alyssa's growth was a good trade-off for more power. However, now that she'd lost that power her growth had accelerated, her body catching up with her intellect. The resulting pain kept Alyssa in bed most days with Miyu dutifully attending her.

"Miyu," Nao began. "You love Alyssa-chan, right?"

The android stared at her a moment as she seemed to process the question.

"I have feelings for Ojou-sama," she said thoughtfully. "I aim to keep her safe from all harm, to make sure her life is enjoyable and comfortable. That could be what humans refer to as love."

"But how does she make Miyu feel?" Nao pressed.

"Ojou-sama is...Ojou-sama is..." Miyu uncharacteristically hesitated. "Ojou-sama is most precious to me."

Though her expression was blank as ever, Nao imagined that android's pale cheeks had turned bright pink for a moment. Can robots even DO that? she thought.

"You'd do anything for her," Nao said.

Miyu nodded as she completed her task.

"Even if what you did might hurt her initially?"

Miyu, taken aback for once, glared at her red-haired counterpart. "My function is to protect Ojou-sama. not to hurt her." she said coldly. "What is the use of this question?"

Nao took a deep breath and plunged forward. "If Alyssa-chan took a self-destructive path and wouldn't listen to reason, and if it was to save her from a painful fate; would you go against her wishes?"

The android seemed to consider this and didn't speak for a long moment.

"Analysis complete. You are attempting to use me to gain insight into your relationship with one Minagi Mikoto."

"I guess I couldn't hide that from you," Nao replied, chagrined.

"Both of my eyes are functional, Yuuki Nao."

"But you didn't answer my question, Miyu," Nao reminded her. "What would you do?"

"I would first exhaust every other means at my disposal," Miyu said.

"And if that didn't work?" Nao prompted.

For a moment, Miyu's face clouded with a troubled expression. "For Ojou-sama...For Ojou-sama...I would do anything to protect her. Even if it costs me our relationship. Even if it costs me my life."

Nao wasn't surprised by the sentiment. In fact she looked relieved; as if she'd just been given permission.

* * *

The sound of birdsongs awakened her. The high-pitched cries the small animals were amplified by the wind here. Yes, she'd spent the night here on this hillock. It had seemed all right since it was a warm evening and Minagi Mikoto hadn't wanted to go home. Mai was at home.

Yet, now she was chilled to the bone. A fine blanket of morning dew had soaked her uniform through, pasting it to her skin. What had once been a lovely place where she could escape and, for a time, pretend that she was happy, was now damp and miserable. Much like her life.

The small girl's side ached where she'd lain on a stone; a mild throbbing which seemed to be timed with the beating of her heart. Her traitorous heart. Strange that a member of her own body could cause so much harm.

Mikoto cracked open an eyelid, cringing at the glare of the newly-  
risen sun.

"A new day," she whispered. The sound of her own voice was alien to her, devoid of its usual strength and cheer. Where had it gone?

"To the same place Mai's smile went," Mikoto answered herself. Mai wasn't herself either. Even though outwardly, she kept smiling to the world, Mikoto knew it was only a front. Mai's smile was thin and brittle at the edges. She was holding herself together with tremendous effort so that no one would worry.

"Because Mai is kind," Mikoto said. "Mai is...kind..."

Was that it? Was Mai just being kind that time? The night it first happened Mikoto had been so excited she was bursting at the seams. The next morning she wasted no time in telling her classmate, Yuuki Nao the news.

Nao didn't share her excitement. She only delivered a warning about expecting too much from love. At the time, Mikoto thought Nao a pessimist or jealous of her new-found love. But, she was only trying to be kind. That night, when Mikoto found Mai and Yuuichi together; was that another sort of kindness?

Was Mai only trying to spare her feelings? It may have been Mai's mistake to kiss her like that, but Mikoto had been the one to blow it out of proportion. A small act of kindness on Mai's part and the feral girl had taken it as a confession of love. Once again, she'd let her expectations get ahead of reality and had hurt Mai.

But, if she could fix things...If she let Mai know that it was just a stupid mistake and she understood Mai's feelings weren't for her, then things might go back to normal. Mai would smile for her again.

Mikoto's heart leapt at the thought, as did the rest of her body. She began to run.

She'd been so selfish to think only of her own happiness. Mai was the important one. As long as Mai was happy...as long as Mai was smiling...All would be right with the world. As she charged toward the dormitory, the beginnings of a true smile formed on Mikoto's lips.

* * *

The smell of frying eggs awoke Kuga Natsuki. As she looked blearily around trying to get her bearings, she looked down and realized she'd slept in her now badly-rumpled uniform. "That's right, I'm still in Tokiha's room," she recalled. Fumbling around for a bit she managed to re-fasten her bra, which she'd released during the night.

The sound of humming caught her attention and she looked to the kitchenette to find Mai, wearing an apron over a fresh uniform, bustling about.

"Mai," Natsuki called.

The strawberry-blonde girl turned slightly, careful not to take here eyes off the stove. "Oh you're awake! I thought I'd leave you alone for awhile since you were sleeping so peacefully," she said cheerfully.

Hopping out of the bed, Natsuki was stunned. Was this the same girl whom she found nearly catatonic last night? Was she the same one who'd clung to her and wept until she fell into an exhausted slumber?

"Mai, about last night-"

"I hope you don't mind a western-style omelet for breakfast," Mai continued without missing a beat. "We're missing some stuff since I haven't gone shopping yet."

The older girl gritted her teeth and approached Mai. "Look, we need to talk about what Mikoto did-"

"And speaking of her," Mai raced on, "When I was making her lunch I had a bit left over so I took the liberty of making you one as well. Is bacon-wrapped asparagus okay?" Mai offered her a neatly prepared bento.

Natsuki slapped it from her hand, the contents crashed to the floor, scattering on the tiles. She felt ashamed for losing her temper like that. But Mai was finally looking at her now instead of through her. That happy, slightly manic smile was gone. Instead she appeared...perplexed.

"You didn't have to do that," she said quietly. "If you don't like it I can make you something else." She reached for a broom to sweep up the mess. "I'm really confident in my cooking skills-" Her monologue was cut short as Natsuki seized her arm and spun her around.

"No!" Natsuki exclaimed. "Stop running away."

"I'm NOT running away, I'm making breakfast!" Mai screamed, her cheerful facade falling and dashing to shards. "When I cook, everything is right where it's supposed to be and it always comes out right because I follow the recipe. And the recipe...never...CHANGES!"

Finally, she broke into tears. her rigid body wilted and Natsuki caught her.

"It's because of me, isn't it?" Mai managed between great, racking sobs. "She's with Nao because of what I did."

"Mai, I can't tell you that."

"You know it's true! You saw her face in that video. She can't stand Nao but she lets her...let's her..."

"Don't do this to yourself," Natsuki tried to calm her, the girl was shaking now.

"You see I knew about Mikoto," she said. "In the back of my mind I always knew. The way she always clung to me and said she loved me right in front of everyone. At first I thought it was just a kid's game for her. A little crush for Mikoto-chan." She laughed bitterly.

"But inside, in a place I didn't want to admit existed, I knew she was serious. Lately I've noticed her staring at me. That look of adoration she has for me has something else too. Something like longing. I guess I blocked it out mentally, because I didn't want to see it. Like when we're taking our baths together. She started getting really self-conscious about me washing her back. I dismissed it as Mikoto growing more mature. I wouldn't LET myself think she was self-conscious because she had feelings for me. Because she wanted me."

As the revelations kept coming, pieces of the puzzle fell into place for Natsuki. So, Mai recognized Mikoto's feelings. So why work so hard to dissuade the younger girl's romantic ambitions? Was it really such a terrible thing to be loved by someone like Mikoto?

"You understand Mikoto's feelings for you are more than just friendship," Natsuki said. "You even say you wanted to be with her too. But at the same time you say that Tate-kun is the one you love, the one you have to love. If your feelings for Tate-kun are real then why couldn't you just let Mikoto go? Why did you try to make her leave on her own?"

"After everything that happened during the HiME Festival, I tried to put my life back together," Mai said. "I realized many things in that time. Love is a fickle thing. I found out that Takumi wasn't the only important person in my life. I found out I had feelings for Yuuichi and I thought it was wrong to care for someone more than my brother. I thought I was a terrible person for my heart to change like that.

"After it all ended I found out that it was okay to be close to people and let them in. Takumi was getting a healthy body and had Akira-kun with him. I'd accepted the fact that I wasn't the only one in his life anymore. Besides I had Yuuichi and everything was fine. Everything but one, small detail."

"Mikoto," Natsuki supplied.

"Yes," Mai said, her amethyst eyes were red from crying. "I'd ignored the fact that even after Takumi and Yuuichi disappeared, I still had my power. I even told the Obsidian Lord that that power came from my remembered feelings for them. Somehow I'd even convinced myself of that. But Mikoto was still alive.

"I honestly wanted to find out the truth about her. I wanted to rescue her from her brother who had twisted her with his version of love. It never occurred to me that she was my strength, that my feelings for her gave me determination to fight. When it was all over, I just tried to get on with living a normal life. A normal girl doesn't have strange powers, or make elements appear out of nothing, or summon a Child to fight."

Mai dropped her gaze and stared at her feet, her hair falling limply into her eyes.

"A normal girl doesn't have those kinds of feelings for her roommate."

"Normal..." Natsuki intoned. "So, does that make me and Shizuru abnormal?"

"No!" Mai said quickly. "I don't see you that way. It's just...not the life I want. It's not the life I need. Mikoto is wonderful and I care about her. But there can't be anything like that between us. I just can't allow myself to love her that way."

Natsuki regarded her with cold, emerald eyes. "Don't you think you're being-"

She was cut off by the sound of a choked sob. Both girls spun to find a bedraggled and sodden Minagi Mikoto standing in the room's doorway.

Her mouth hung agape as if human speech had failed her. Her arms were outstretched, reaching toward Mai in a pleading gesture.

Natsuki made a step towards her but she was much too slow.

Mikoto ran.


	12. Chapter 12

Time has a habit of running at different speeds. Depending on the situation a moment of pain can seem like days while a year of happiness can seem like mere minutes. 

Yuuki Nao had experienced the capriciousness of time quite recently. She'd spent the first three class periods of this damp school day sitting under the bleachers of the Lacrosse field with one Minagi Mikoto.

The feral girl was silent most of that time only wanting to be held. Nao obliged her while partaking of her pain. Since they had begun their affair this was the closest she'd felt to Mikoto.

Somehow this tragedy had cured the redhead of her reluctance. She could feel her veils slipping and it frightened her. But she also felt relieved. Having feelings for someone wasn't so bad in small doses. After all, Nao had resolved to save her. The gift she had planned would be her first and last to Mikoto. It was the only gift she could give.

"I can't go back to Mai," Mikoto had told her then. "I only hurt her now."

"That's because your feelings for her are too great for her to carry," Nao had replied. "That's why love fails most of the time. We humans are much too frail to carry the burden of true love. It's better not to try to love. You both would have been much happier if you'd learned it."

Mikoto turned to her, fresh tears following the tracks of their predecessors. "I know, she can't give my feelings back but, I still love Mai. I want Mai to smile again!"

"Even after all she's done, you still..." Nao sighed resignedly. "All right, there is something you can do for her and for yourself as well."

Nao told her. Afterwards she loaned her a clean uniform and sent her to class. However, Nao went to the nurse's office complaining that her anemia was acting up. As she lay on the bed doubt encroached. Was she truly doing the right thing? To take Mikoto away from Mai seemed drastic.

But as she lay and thought Mikoto's face appeared before her. So much pain and so young. Someone cheerful and energetic like Mikoto shouldn't have to bear it. Nao hadn't known much love in her life but to have it just within reach without being able to grasp it was just too cruel.

"I hope you're not going to lay there all day," Youko-sensei said. She was busy recording and disposing of old prescriptions from the medicine locker.

"I can feel my energy slowly returning sensei," Nao said rather dramatically.

"This isn't a hotel, you know," Youko said irritably. She was going to comment further when a female student ran into the clinic.

"Youko-sensei!" she said breathlessly. "Orikasa-sempai fell off the balance beam and twisted her leg! It might even be broken!"

"All right, I'm on my way," the nurse said as she gathered some things in her medical bag. "Yuuki-kun we'll need that bed so go back to class."

Then she and the student hurried towards the gymnasium.

Nao sat up, alone with her thoughts once more. "It seems the choice is made for me. Dear God, give me the strength for what must come next."

* * *

Tokiha Mai also prayed for strength. However she prayed for the strength not to follow the retreating figure of her roommate. It was all she could do not to rip off her apron and chase after the girl. Always chasing. Ever since they met Mai had been chasing Mikoto for some reason or other. Whether it was chasing her around campus or just around their shared room at bath time, she willingly joined the chase.

Now she was letting her go.

Mai sat in class, trying her best to pay attention to the lesson. However, if asked, she couldn't say what that lesson was or even what subject it was in.

Mikoto.

The very thought of that name pierced her heart. Did I do the right thing, letting Nao have her?

The images from that horrid video came before her again. Nao's hands on Mikoto. Touching, tasting her skin. Kissing lips only Mai had kissed before. If it was right, why did her heart ache so just thinking about them?

"Tokiha-kun!"

The sound of her name jolted Mai from her reverie. She found the entire class staring at her. "Eh...?"

"If you could trouble yourself to pay attention," the teacher said sternly. "I said we need to take these health survey's to the nurse's office. Congratulations. You've just volunteered."

Blushing to the sporadic giggles from her classmates, Mai came forward and received the stack of papers. She studiously avoided the gaze of Chie and Aoi, her friends and Tate, her boyfriend. Somehow this push to straighten out her life had left Tokiha Mai very much alone.

The halls were eerily empty this time of day. It was after lunch and most students were in the afternoon doldrums, where warding off sleep was the most pressing matter. Alone with her thoughts, the doubts floated back to the surface.

Again and again, she saw Mikoto turn and flee from her tears flooding her lovely golden eyes. Again and again she imagined herself tearing after her, grabbing her into a fierce embrace. She saw herself take Mikoto's face in her hands and kiss away her tears, kiss those cherry lips until her breath was stolen away...

"Gah!" Mai recoiled from that unbidden image. How did it turn into that again?

"Cutting class?"

The voice startled Mai into the here and now. Sharp, green eyes looked up at her.

"Nao," Mai couldn't keep the cacophony of emotion out of her voice at seeing the redhead. Nao, however didn't seem to notice.

"A good girl like you should be more careful to pay more attention to what's right in front of you," she said.

"I have to take these to Youko-sensei's office," Mai replied edging past the younger girl.

"Aren't you going to ask me?" Nao asked as she passed.

"Ask you what?"

"What it was like, touching Mikoto's soft skin," Nao drawled. "But you already know about that. Though you can't be satisfied with just having her warm body against you when you sleep. Or sneaking little touches in the bath."

Mai, who had been stalled in her escape whirled on her and stalked back to the younger girl.

"I'm sure you want to know how she tastes," Nao mocked.

Papers fluttered and suddenly Mai's hand hurt. A large, red welt appeared across Nao's cheek. Yet, she was smiling still.

"Why?" Mai demanded raggedly. "Why did you tell me those things? When all the time you were..."

"You came to me seeking absolution for your sins. Sins of hurting those you cared about, but that was a smokescreen," Nao said. "What you really wanted was an easy way out. Little Miss Perfect with the perfect life and the perfect personality and the perfect boyfriend. Everyone loves Tokiha Mai. Especially Her. You're all she ever talks about. Even when we we're together-" Nao broke off and collected herself.

"The reason I took her was because Mikoto is too good for a coward like you. She'd tear herself apart for you and all you can think of is protecting yourself. I don't hate you Tokiha Mai because I could never hate something she loves. But I do pity you. You'll never know what you had in Mikoto."

Before Mai could fathom an answer Nao left her, the papers scattered at her feet.

* * *

The moon had begun to wane that night. Although it was no longer a perfect disk it shed more than enough light upon the bed.

This dorm room, sparsely decorated as it was had become comfortable to Mikoto. She lay there in only her underthings awaiting Nao's return. After tonight Nao would take her on a journey. She would take her away from Mai. Though Mikoto's heart ached at the thought of being separated from her beloved, it hurt all the worse knowing she had caused her pain.

She knew that her parting would cause Mai some more pain. But surely she'd feel better when she, Mikoto, was gone from her life. Mai would smile again.

Mikoto's only regret was that she'd never get to see it.

The door opened and Nao came through. After closing and locking the door she sat next to Mikoto on the bed and took a moment to gaze into her eyes.

"I left a note with instructions for Miyu," Nao said finally. "She said she wanted to pick me up tomorrow morning for Mass but...we'll probably be gone by then."

Mikoto nodded. "We're doing the right thing, right?"

Nao threw her arms about the feral girl and tenderly kissed her lips.

"I made a promise to God that I would save you," she said. "And I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't let her hurt you again. These feelings you call love would kill you slowly. I don't want to watch you wither away like that. leaving now is thee only choice."

* * *

Tokiha Mai cooked dinner for two. Udon noodles. Grilled fish she'd picked up fresh from the farmer's market. Steamed rice. Enough food for two. Well, one normal person and another with the appetite of a small futbol team.

Mai set everything out on the low table and pared to eat. But something was missing. One of the set of special chopsticks Takumi had given her was gone. They had been a birthday gift s Mai only used them at home.

"Ne, Mikoto, have you seen my...?" She wasn't there, of course. How could she expect Mikoto to come back after all that had happened? She'd even made her dinner.

She'd tear herself apart for you and all you can think of is protecting yourself.

A normal girl doesn't have those kinds of feelings for her roommate.

Mai winced as she remembered those words. Is that how I really am?

...Mikoto is too good for a coward like you.

If your feelings for Tate-kun are real then why couldn't you just let Mikoto go?

I wouldn't LET myself think she was self-conscious because she had feelings for me. Because she wanted me.

Mai fell to her knees, ignoring the pain, or rather reveling in it. She deserved to hurt. She'd known all along. She'd been protecting herself and took her eyes off the most important thing. Mikoto. There simply wasn't going to be a life without her. There was no Mai without Mikoto.

* * *

She lay in Nao's arms contemplating nothing. The decision had been made. Mikoto was leaving Mai's life. Her breathing sounded loud in her ears. Actually, everything sounded loud, yet distant. As if it were a fuzzy TV broadcast.

Her head rested against Nao's breast and she could hear the steady heartbeat. Nao's heart. She recalled doing this with Mai many times. The older girl always acted annoyed but she never stopped her. She just wanted to be closer to that beautiful heart. To feel the steady rhythm of her life force.

"Is your mouth dry?" Nao asked from a tunnel. "Do you want some more water?"

"No," Mikoto replied. She doubted she'd want to move anyway, she felt so tired.

"Mikoto...do you hate me?"

"A little. You're taking me away from her. But I also like you a little."

"Why?"

"For the same reason. When I'm gone, she'll smile again."

"That's all it takes for you, isn't it?" Nao asked.

"That's all I want," Mikoto replied. She wanted to look at Nao's face but she felt so tired...

* * *

Tokiha Mai stalked the hallways of the Fuuka Gakuen Girl's Dormitory. Her footsteps took her down the familiar path. Turn here. Down the stairs. Left here. Open the door, it's never locked.

But this door WAS locked. Determined, Mai pounded on the door calling Mikoto's name.  
-  
Mikoto heard her heartbeat even louder than before. The normal thumps became resounding booms, which shook her very core.

So this is what it's like. It's not so bad after all.

She imagined she heard Mai's voice calling her name.

* * *

Why didn't they answer? Mai had battered the door until her hands blistered and bled. A crowd of curious students gad gathered, yet none were brave enough to approach their classmate.

In desperation, Mai spied an emergency fire extinguisher on the wall. Without a second thought she tore it from its mountings and advanced on the door again.

* * *

"There's something I wanted to tell you," Nao said, her voice was so far away. "I wanted to save you from that thing called love. I thought it would destroy you."

She paused for a long moment, gathering her remaining strength.

"Maybe I was doing it for those reasons at first. But getting to know you...now...Mikoto...I truly..."

"Don't," Mikoto stopped her. "Don't let that be...the last thing ...you say to me."

"That's all right then," Nao sighed. "Just so...you know."

"I've always known...Mai..."

* * *

Mai readied the fire extinguisher for a strike when someone grabbed her arm. She spun to find the bespectacled face of the student council president, Kikukawa Yukino.

"Mai-chan, please stop this!"

"I can't," Mai said shaking her off. "Don't you see? She's already a part of me!"

She raised the improvised ram and struck the door. Wood splintered, metal shrieked.

The door slammed open and Mai rushed in to find...angels.

Two angels lay in each other's arms. Their faces serene in that celestial slumber. Angels they would appear if they had not been in a dark dorm room. Angels they would be if the nightstand next to the bed had not held two water glasses and an empty pill bottle.

Mai's cry tore open the heavens.


	13. Alternate

**_To the reader: This alternate ending was written months ago as an exclusive feature on the Shoujo-Ai Forum. However, since I am updating the story text and archiving the chapters I thought I'd give the readers here a chance to experience it. this is an Alternate Ending to begin after Part 12. _**

If you prefer the original ending, please disregard.

* * *

Harsh light assaulted her eyes. Unfamiliar sounds assaulted her ears. Mechanical sounds of breathing machines, the beeps of heart monitors and the muted steps of slipper-clad feet echoed around her. 

Where is this?

She was reclining on some kind of table or bed. It had metal rails. Hospital?

"Why am I..?" she croaked. Her throat was raw, her voice sounded strange in her ears. Something pulled at her consciousness. Something she had to do.

The girl tried to raise upright, but was hampered by something on her arms. Padded restraints. Was this some kind of dream? She tugged at them, testing. They felt real enough.

"Those are for your protection," a voice intruded.

The girl's head snapped to the left o see a vaguely familiar figure sitting in a chair against the far wall.

"You tried to hurt yourself. Those are to keep you from doing it again."

The girl relaxed a bit and studied her companion. Yes, long, dark hair. A beautiful oval-shaped face. Startling green eye like emeralds.

"Kuga...Natsuki?"

"That's right," the older girl said with a slight smile. "The doctor said the sedatives would leave your brain a little fuzzy."

"Sedatives?"

The other girl's smile disappeared. "You were out of control for a while"

"Natsuki, what happened to me? What did I try to do?"

Natsuki didn't answer.

The girl studied herself. An IV tube was taped to her left arm. But, on her right index finger was a small splint.

"It's not broken," Natsuki said quickly. "The paramedics dislocated it on accident when you wouldn't let go..."

"Wouldn't let go? Natsuki, you're not making any sense. Wouldn't let go of what?"

Images came before her. A mad, losing struggle against others. They were trying to take something from her. But it was hers and they couldn't have it.

Who were these people and why did they want to take her most precious thing away?

Her most precious thing...

Her most precious...

Amethyst eyes widened with shock. "Natsuki, where is Mikoto!"

The older girl started. "Mai, I can't..."

"Where is she?" Tokiha Mai demanded. "I need her near me! GIVE HER BACK!"

Her increasing screams alerted the staff and a swarm of nurses and doctors came in and restrained the thrashing girl. One of them did something to her IV and warmth spread across Mai's body. She fell into darkness.

* * *

Was this hell? 

The place some people believed you went after death. If you were a terrible person you went there for punishment.

Her surroundings were vague. All she could see were formless masses which moved in and out of her vision periodically. She could not move as she could not feel her body. Her extremities had either ceased to function of ceased to be.

She could not hear. Not clearly anyway. The masses murmured in guttural tongues she couldn't decipher. Perhaps the language of the demons come to torture her.

She was not afraid of them. They could not harm her worse than that other sound. The sound she heard at the end of her life. The sound which replayed recently somewhere in this place only to be abruptly cut off.

The sound of someone calling, screaming her name.

Of course this place would remind her of that. Hell wasn't a fiery pit after all. Hell was the place where your sins were forever brought before you.

All of your mistakes made in life were laid bare; accusing you. Eternally.

Her sins were indeed many. But her deepest sin was one she could no longer atone for. She had hurt the one she loved most under the guise of protecting her.

For this Minagi Mikoto deserved to suffer.

* * *

Exhausted from her worries and her constant vigil over her friends, Kuga Natsuki had finally collapsed in the hospital waiting room. Mai's deteriorating sanity and Mikoto's comatose state were just too much to bear. 

Try as she might, Natsuki just couldn't see how it had all gone so wrong, so quickly. Natsuki slowly awoke, the expected aches from sleeping in a chair were strangely absent.

Something soft supported her head and something warm surrounded her shoulders. Awakening fully, Natsuki found that she was resting on the bosom of her love, Fujino Shizuru. Natsuki bolted upright, hoping nobody saw her in such a position.

"Good morning," came Shizuru's musical voice.

"Why didn't you wake me sooner?" Natsuki asked as she found a jacket about her shoulders.

"You needed the rest," Shizuru replied as she reached out to smooth Natsuki's sleep-mussed hair. "Besides, I like your face when you sleep."

"Th-thanks," the dark-haired girl replied. "You don't have to pamper me-" She broke of as she spied a rather large wet spot on Shizuru's silk blouse.

"Oh, this? You were sleeping so beautifully, I didn't have the heart to move you."

Her face beet red, Natsuki shooed Shizuru to the washroom to freshen up while she asked a passing nurse where to find some coffee.  
She paused. Something wasn't right.

"Shizuru's eyes," she whispered.

Natsuki hurried to the washroom to find Shizuru standing at the sink, hair brushes, makeup and skin care products arrayed before her. She was dabbing at her eyes with an exquisitely embroidered handkerchief.

"I didn't want you to see me like this," she said.

"Shizuru," Natsuki breathed in wonder. She tentatively put her arms around her love. Shizuru tensed a moment, and then accepted the embrace.

"I wanted to be strong for you," she said, the tears flowing freely now. "But it suddenly hit me that I couldn't do anything for them. I've built a life on being the one people turn to but now I'm powerless."

"You said once that your heart was only big enough for me," Natsuki said after a moment. "You're wrong about that. Your heart is as big as you make it." She kissed Shizuru's wet cheek.

"They're so much like we used to be," Shizuru said as she regained control.

"How so?"

"The closer they became, the more they hurt each other.

"Do you think they'll make it through?" Natsuki asked.

"They're connected now, body and soul," Shizuru said as Natsuki began brushing her wheat-colored hair. "If Mikoto-chan doesn't wake up Tokiha-san may never come back to us"

* * *

Consciousness swam back to her like a small fish. always darting out of her grasp until she netted it and brought it to herself. 

"Oh, I'm still alive."

The room was unfamiliar, but the layout told her she was in a hospital. Tubes and wires were attached here and there on her body. Another line fed oxygen to her nose.

Suddenly a shadow loomed over her and an icy hand touched her brow. Had Death come to claim her now? For someone who had been all to willing to run towards Death only a short time ago, Yuuki Nao was afraid.

"You've regained consciousness," Death's voice sounded eerily familiar.

A bedside lamp was switched on to reveal the pallid face of Miyu Glear.

"Father Callahan left 10 minutes ago," she said. "I was told to make sure you had company when you woke up."

"Miyu..." Nao's throat was parched. The android allowed her to sip some water from a handy glass. "I...I'm sorry."

"You require rest now," Miyu said, ignoring the apology. She efficiently adjusted Nao's pillows beneath her and made sure all of the monitoring equipment was functioning properly.

"Miyu," Nao spoke up. "Is Mikoto...?"

"Minagi Mikoto is currently comatose. She has a 47 chance of regaining consciousness."

Nao wasn't certain how to take the news. Part of her was actually relieved Mikoto had survived, even if only this much. She also wondered if it would be a kindness to just let the girl die. What had seemed like a clear course was now muddled with doubts and regret.

Miyu turned and walked towards the door, where she paused. "Yuuki Nao, please refrain from doing something so foolish again," she said. "I--Ojou-sama is accustomed to your presence and would become distressed if something happened to you."

Nao was left to ponder her newly-returned life; the same life she'd so readily thrown away.

* * *

Another day and night came and went without much change. Mikoto's eyes had opened but she gave no sign that she saw anything. Youko-sensei had been tearing her hair out trying to piece together what had happened. 

"From what I can tell," she said as she pulled Natsuki out of the room. "Nao took the sleeping pills from the locker in my office. I was so busy at the time I didn't notice."

"If they were just sleeping pills, why won't Mikoto wake up?" Natsuki asked. "Aren't they out of her system yet?"

"From the residue in the bottle it looks like she grabbed several medications and mixed them together. It's a miracle either of them is alive at all," Youko replied. "Nao got off easy, but some of the ones Mikoto-chan took may have been narcotics. They reeked havoc with her liver and may be affecting her brain function."

"Are you telling me you CAN'T help her!"

"I'm telling you that it will take some time. We have to discover what she ingested and apply appropriate counter-measures," The older woman steeled herself and gazed at Natsuki. "About Tokiha Mai-san. I need you to tell me what happened that night."

Natsuki slowly walked down the hall with Youko in tow. She silently led the older woman to an elevator and to the next floor. Her footsteps ended in front of Mai's room. The younger girl was sitting up in her bed staring forward.

"I remember Mai screaming," Natsuki began. "I had come downstairs because of the commotion. A lot of girls were hanging around Nao's room, not doing anything.

"I heard the screaming first. Mai was begging Mikoto to wake up. Saying she was sorry for everything. Begging her not to go away. When I got inside I found her cradling Mikoto and rocking her. She didn't even notice me. The paramedics got there soon and started first aid on Nao. But when they tried to take Mikoto..."

She paused the full weight of memory catching up to her. "She fought them, biting and hitting and scratching. Mai was like a wild animal. When they finally got Mikoto loose Mai shrieked at them. Saying they couldn't take Mikoto away because she was already a part of her."

"And that's when she grabbed the kitchen knife?" Youko prompted.

"Yeah," Natsuki replied. "She almost had it to her throat when I got to her. If I'd been a second later..."

"Mikoto?" Mai's voice drifted into the hall. Both women rushed to her side. The strawberry-blonde was looking about herself, searching. "Natsuki, Youko-sensei, what are you doing here?"

Natsuki and Youko traded a look. "We were afraid the sedatives would trigger depression so I had them back off the dose."

"This is the hospital isn't it?" Mai asked curiously. "Why am I here? Why...Mikoto...Mikoto was...oh...OH GOD MIKOTO'S DEAD!"

Natsuki grabbed her friend in a fierce embrace while Youko rushed to shut the door. She then pulled out a medication vial and a needle from the pocket of her lab coat. "Kuga-kun, you have to keep her calm."

"It's all right," Natsuki soothed. "Mai, relax a little we need you to come back to us."

"But, she's gone," Mai sobbed into her shoulder. "She's gone and I never got to tell her. I never told her anything. Her last thoughts were that I couldn't love her!"

"She's not dead," Youko spoke up.

"What?"

"Mikoto-chan isn't dead."

"Not...dead?" Mai seemed unwilling to believe such a thing. At any moment fate would pull back the curtain and expose this hope as a cruel joke.

"She's in a kind of coma, but we're caring for her" Youko said.

"I want to see her," Mai said quietly.

"Mai, you can't," Natsuki said indicating the restraints.

"I need to see her," Mai said, louder this time.

"The staff psychiatrist thinks it would be a bad idea to let her do that," Youko told Natsuki. "It could trigger another episode, or worse."

"Please!" Mai looked upon Natsuki with tear-filled eyes. "Even if I can't do anything for her, even if I can't wake her up; I need to see Mikoto. She's a part of me now. She's the part that matters most."

* * *

Night had come to this austere place. The sterile hallways were clear of visitors and patients alike. Nurses working the graveyard shift read novels to stave off the boredom of watching monitors. A shadow detached itself from the wall and drifted past the nurse's station. 

Down the ward the wraith went hurrying past the pools of light made by the security lamps. the shadow paused at a door near the end and silently entered.

Yuuki Nao rarely slept now. Her brush with death had instilled her with a a newfound will to live all of her life. She was now reading through some cards and letters sent to her by concerned classmates, still stunned that so many gave a damn about her well-being.

Therefore when the figure entered her room, she wasn't the least surprised to find the biker-suit-clad Kuga Natsuki approaching her bed.

"If you're here for some kind of revenge," she said placidly. "I won't blame you."

For her part, Natsuki did look at the redhead a moment, as if she was considering this.

"I might take you up on that later," she replied. "Tonight, I need to ask you a question."

"If you want to know why, I can't give you an answer. At least I can't give you one you'd understand."

"I already know why you did it," Natsuki said, reveling in the younger girl's surprise. "You took a twisted path to reach your goal and a lot of people are suffering because of you. I just wanted to know. Did you love Mikoto?"

"I wanted to save her you know," Nao said mournfully. "I thought I could save her from living with that pain of knowing she couldn't be with Mai. It's all I wanted."

"Stop lying," Natsuki said sternly. "For once just tell the truth. If more of that had been done we could have avoided all this."

"I can't hide it very well eh?" Nao smiled weakly. "Maybe I wanted to punish Tokiha Mai just a little for treating Mikoto like that. But mostly, I just wanted to have her to myself. Even if she didn't love me back I could still have her."

"Do you still love Mikoto now?"

"Yes."

"Then I need your help."

* * *

The call signal buzzed at the nurse's station. A young nurse, fresh from school and lamenting the damage graveyard shift was having with her love life, took the call and hurried to the room. 

A few moments later she rushed back, her soft-soled shoes slapping the floor.

"She's gone! The patient in room 1601 is gone!"

The head floor nurse quickly contacted security, assembled a search party and they all set about scouring the hospital for the missing girl.

* * *

The demons had gone away leaving her alone. Suffering was the way of life here in Hell, but she was glad they had given up for now. Their toneless murmuring was worse than anything else. Now, something new approached and called what sounded like her name. The voice was not that of a demon, but the gentle voice of her beloved Mai. 

It's finally starting she thought. The final torture would not be physical but emotional. To eternally hear her beloved's voice in her ear, yet never be able to touch her to hold her in her arms. She would endure it until madness takes her.

* * *

"Why are you crying?" Mai asked the still form of Mikoto. "Does even my voice hurt you that much?" 

Natsuki didn't have much of a plan for this moment. She only had a vague notion that Mai needed to be with Mikoto. That both their lives depended on it. Yet, now that they were together she wondered if she'd made a mistake. If Mai expected too much or Mikoto got worse; Mai could slip over the edge again and never return.

When they'd entered this small room, Mai had been shocked to see so many machines and monitors connected to Mikoto's small frame. She'd gingerly climbed onto the bed and brushed away a few stray hairs from her slackened face. She then tenderly kissed Mikoto's lips and lay down beside her.

They'd stayed that way for half an hour. Mai whispering something to Mikoto and the feral girl gazing back at her with sightless eyes. Natsuki was about to suggest Mai com back with her when the tears started. The moisture formed in Mikoto's golden eyes and rolled down her cheeks.

"I wanted to tell you so much," Mai said. "But you'd already gone away from me. I can't live this life without you. You said you loved the smiling Mai, right? Well, you ARE my smile. You're my most precious thing in this world. So if you're not here...If you're not here I don't want to be here either."

"Mai!" Natsuki came forward ready to stop her friend from doing anything rash. But she stopped short when a pair of arms encircled Mai, embracing her.

"Mikoto?" shocked, Mai looked down to see the golden eyes had regarded her with recognition as the fought to focus.

"Mai..." Mikoto said weakly. "Are you real?"

"Yes!" Mai nodded emphatically. "I'm right here and I love you! I don't care who knows it! I love you, Mikoto!"

"No," Mikoto said.

"What?" Mai asked, puzzled.

"I don't believe you," she said. "I can't trust...those words."

Someone started trying to open the room door and Natsuki quickly jammed a chair under the handle.

"I don't understand Mikoto," Mai began to sob. "I told you that I love you. I can finally say it."

"Mai says things she doesn't really mean sometimes," Mikoto said. "Even if it's just to protect me. I have to know the truth."

"What do you mean?"

Mikoto said nothing more but began tugging loose Mai's hospital robe.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Natsuki demanded as she leaned against the door. The polite knocking had become insistent pounding and then resounding booms as someone tried to knock the door in.

"This can't lie," Mikoto said calmly, oblivious to the noise and to Mai's protests.

She managed to pull the robe open, exposing Mai's pajamas. She then unbuttoned the front exposing Mai's breasts.

"Please tell me the truth," she said almost like a prayer and buried her face in Mai's breast.

Time stopped.

Then resumed as with a resounding crash the door was battered in sending Natsuki across the room. In came several orderlies, nurses a doctor and security guards, all of whom were shocked to find a half-naked patient hugging a supposedly comatose patient to her very exposed breast.

Mikoto looked up at Mai, her smile finally reaching her eyes.

"Mai's heart told me she loves me," she beamed. "I can always believe Mai's heart."

As Natsuki hustled to get a blanket and cover Mai's dignity, the other girl could only smile.

"I wish I'd learned to listen to it before all this."

Mikoto nodded approvingly. "The smiling Mai is the best," she said.

Mai lifted her chin and gently kissed her lips. "But Mikoto is the one who gave Mai that smile."

* * *

**_Author's note: This alternate ending exists due to my frighteningly obsessive love for the Mai/Mikoto pairing. I love my angst and tragedy, but I thought they deserved some of the love side of things. Somehow seeing these two together puts a warm fuzzy in my black heart._**

**_:HUGS:_**

**_Arca Jeth_**


End file.
